I know that I was supposed to write about my 3 years review about living in California awhile ago. But I got caught up and pushed it away. But right now, I am ready to talk about it. So I am going to summarize each year into a paragraph.
The first year, I was a party animal. I worked 3 jobs, but I was also drinking and partying every night. I also gave my heart out easily and way too often. Because of that, I lost a friendship that was very dear to me, ( we drove to LA together and were roommates for a bit). All I did was was focusing on having a good time and neglected our friendship. I lived a reckless lifestyle. And didn't take care of my well being at all.
The second year, I was head over heels for a man that I thought I could fix. I thought that maybe if I could help him up, I would feel worthy of myself. I put all my energy and attention to our relationship that it sucked my cup dry. I fell into a deep, "zombified" depression. Food was my drug and I gained over 25 pounds from it. Also it was the year where my heart was shattered into what I felt like a million pieces. I was so hurt and angry. However, I did learned many valuable lessons.
The third year, was the year where I decided to love myself. And let me tell you, it was not easy. I felt so alone. At first, I relapse again, into my binge-eating depression. All I did was work, eat, Netlix and sleep....literally. It lasted for 7 months and I gained over 50 pounds this time. I felt so disgusted and disappointed with myself. But thankfully around new years. My two best friends from Minnesota came and did a major intervention. And that was all I needed to push me to strive to get myself back again. In the beginning, it was very hard. Often, I would feel discourage every time I look at myself in the mirror. But I believed that I could do it.
So I did.
sincerely,
Suree